The insignificant ramblings of a bi-polar

I created this blog as I was recentely diagnosed as bi-polar and I am struggling to cope. I am hoping that writing down what races through my head on a regular basis, will be therapeutic and eventually be able to be used to help in the treatment of this disorder.

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Start school tomorrow. So fricken nervous and scared and not looking forward to it at all.

Dream last night- a good one!

I fell in love whilst on a camping trip with schoolmates (think I was back in school??) his name was Kevin I think, it was great.. He made me laugh and we talked non stop and I was the happiest I have ever been. Then I woke up /: haha

Started a new med tonight- Valdoxine or something like that. After tripling my last medications, I gained 3kgs in two weeks- I just couldn’t live with any more weight gain. I don’t care if the medication was helping me feel better- the more weight I gain, the more depressed I become. Cross your fingers this one works, I could love with some nausea as a side effect (help me lose weight) but nothing else I hope.

Dream last night:

Started off in an airport, was on a bus tour in England. The dream was about all the different outcomes based on changes in my behaviour/actions. Involved running over people, going to jail, stealing a bus etc. Cant remember any more detail /:

Dreams

Have been having some very vivid, strange dreams, so I thought that I would write them down to document them. First, the dream I had last night:

It was about a group of people who realised that they were actually superhero-type people- they had powers that could transform them in robot looking people (I think like transformers?) after they discovered these powers, they learnt about a undercover sex trade on the army. They decide to send a young blonde member undercover, she gets picked at a beach and taken to a cell with slits in the roof so that men from the army could peek through to catch a glance before she is auctioned off. The organisation has been targeted by many other organisation trying to force themselves on and put a stop to it, but the people on charge could always tell and agent. As a result , the trade has been suffering immensely and this is the first girl in awhile (they don’t realise she is an agent. ) who they have been able to auction off. The young, blonde girl is very naive and unaware of what she had entered into.

The End.

Think the increase in meds is having a good affect. Feels like I more energy today, was a little happier I think. Still tires and hungry though, but hopefully that goes away.